Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real

Ouch, fear, hope, gratitude. Those are the things I’m feeling right now because its time for the healer to go through her own healing process. What an amazing shift from the norm. This adventure has shown me a new perspective per sec – how to guide myself through a healing process rather than guiding others.

Unfortunately, I inherited an aggressive genetic early-onset degenerative form of arthritis from my mother. I’ve fought a good battle but in two weeks I’ll be in surgery for a total-knee replacement. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been through many surgeries because of the arthritis but this one is quite special.

Every surgery I’ve had has been fought tooth and nail from beginning to end. Anger about having this genetic issue was common – even anger at my mom. Well, actually I was mad at the entire world and that became my constant focus. Resistance was paramount – I lived in “my mind” and supported every nasty thought I could come up with about how horrible this was as I constantly asked “why is this happening to me again.” The result of this type of thinking was my healing always took a long time, I was in fear constantly, and I lived every second of every day as a victim.

Thankfully, I have learned to be mindful about what my chattering brain was incessantly saying. Because I now choose what I think, this surgery will be totally different. I have chosen to focus on gratitude rather than fear and anger. Following that vein of thinking, below is a list of some things I’m very grateful for – not all-inclusive of course. But each is heart-felt.

54488442 - happy child with smiley on hands against green spring background~ I am grateful for ~

A strong protective home to live in.
Having clean water to drink.
The food in the fridge – and having a fridge.
The clothes in my closet with a washer/dryer to keep them clean.
A real bed with warm blankets when I’m cold.
To feel safe when I fall asleep at night.

All levels of my education.
The gift of guiding others in their healing.
Knowing everyone is my teacher as well as a student.
To be able to afford health care.
To own a car.
To not have bombs dropping on me.

That I have the freedom to choose.
The love of my husband & family.
That my knee simply needs a tune-up.
That I have a knee.
That I have this life.

That no matter what – I am eternal.

Who needs fear?  Not me!

Personal Truth Vs. Judgement

As the national elections draw closer, I’d like to share something. Personally, I’m quite tired of all the verbal word slinging judgement jabber that is suffocating this country – actually the entire world. It’s time to make room for something different.

Let’s move forward rather than backwards. Make a choice to begin expanding the personal truth that lives within you. To attain a level of truth that is unique only to you involves the use of my favorite “f” word –forgiveness.


In fact, you may personally feel the situation is very wrong. The point is when we release judgement, hatred and personal expectations about someone else’s choices, we release the negative energy eagerly festering within. If we don’t, this thick dark negative crude turns us into a grumpy, nasty, vindictive person. This mentality has overtaken humanity to a dangerous level.

Grudges, keeping score, hopelessness and depression are all symptoms of the inability to forgive. We cannot hold another person hostage with a personal expectation of having them change just for us. We tend to hide behind our parents because we feel they did not love us the way they should have. We badmouth the boss we believe never saw our potential. We never allow ourselves to forget the relationship that didn’t give us just what we wanted. These are examples of “judgement” and they create major log-jams that become lodged deep within our hearts. It lowers our self-worth. We don’t trust. It makes us hate anything that is not what we believe.


let-go-594531_1280Don’t forgive someone who mistreated you simply to force them to change. They might not change and that is not genuine forgiveness anyway. Nor should you forgive yourself because someone else expects it. It may not be your right timing and timing cannot be forced. Correct timing is felt in the heart.

Forgiving means letting go from the heart with no strings attached. You simply cut the trappings of hated and judgment and let them die. Now is the time to practice this type of forgiveness worldwide, between races of people, within families and the personal truth that exists within us all. Forgiveness is a form of death – it always precipitates re-birth.

23532269_sLearn what it feels like to live without resistance. Have the courage to forgive something big. Walk to the polls holding your own personal truth deep in your heart and not judge or care how the person next to you votes. Live your truth – not theirs.

There is a saying, “true charity comes from sharing the love in your heart with someone else”.  Let’s practice giving charity to “self” and let go of the upheaval of our inner and outer worlds due to self-judgement.

In reality, everything is simply what it is. How we see reality comes from our own personal truth.  Do you know yours?

Broken Lines

Most of us live a life that is not always made of straight lines taking us from one event to another – from point A to point B. Many of the lines of life are actually created by broken lines – the ones drawn by an unexpected turn, or maybe when we feel we have been on a long, continuous chaotic path. In truth, it wasn’t chaotic at all.

Natures Spiral.jpgWhen you step back to see where you’ve been, you will notice the intricate beautiful pattern and vivid colors of a life stitched together from what had felt like nothing more than mismatched scraps of events and broken lines. From afar, you will notice there was an intricate design all along, AND YOU WERE THE DESIGNER.

In life, broken, crooked, and straight lines will repeatedly and randomly occur. What is important is that those lines intersect with other lines. We always have companions along our journey, and whatever we create, we face together, because each of us is an intricate part of a design bigger than an individual whether the lines are straight or broken.

Together as a whole we weave a colorful masterpiece for the universe. Unique onto each of us.  Join the party dear reader.  Your mind is limitless – the effects unimaginable.  Ask the questions and hear the answers.

Enjoy the moment,

Dr. Deb

Is Lying The New Truth?

This very poignant quote by William J.H. Boetcher is one of the hardest transformative platforms to build, develop and stand upon – the importance of truth.

“That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.”

Here in the USA

The United States seems to have developed into a dangerously unhealthy “people-pleasing society”. This form of “pleasing” has become socially expected and is frequently viewed as a proper form of conduct. There is a downside with the use of people-pleasing; we get pulled into an ever-expanding illusion of truth that does not exist. A society based on falsehoods is basically a dream-world. It becomes a place where absolute truth can never be shared because it must always be cloaked and diluted with lies to turn reality into a make-believe story that ensures all parties involved remain safe.  This illusion of truth becomes the safe haven “people-pleasing” needs to protect the person sharing as well as the listener.

The consequence of using this form of “lying” sadly decreases the innumerable opportunities only truth can offer for personal transformation and growth. This directly affects all individuals, relationships, families, communities, states, countries, the planet, and the quantum universe we all exist in as a whole.  Why do we do this?  Usually to avoid judgement, alienation, ridicule, violence, shame, and bullying. We indiscriminately do this to ourselves and others. Lying used on a consistent basis  physically and emotionally injures us.  This easily leads to self-sabotage.

Life has no cognitive paradigms. Only on very rare occasions should absolute truth be watered down. When being truthful could endanger someone on a physical or emotional level, silence may very well be the best option, with the alternative choice being to simply say, “I’m not sure what to say at this moment”.

The Physical Side of Truth

Generally speaking, honesty provides far more mental and physical health benefits than dishonesty.  Constant lying manifests physical and emotional scars, a significant loss of mental clarity (from constant worry), anxiety, shame and depression, just to mentioned a few.  But, alas, we are complicated creatures. We make complicated decisions every day. We sometimes find reasons to lie because they are necessary.  We do tend to naturally find more reasons not to lie – as long as we feel safe.  In fact, regardless of our best intentions, humankind will never become expert truth-tellers. The truth of what we experience changes from moment-to-moment. Memory is fickle at best and humans naturally love to embellish. Memories and/or stories, truthful or not, are both masterful forms of disguise with the power to do good as well as harm.

Significant opportunities exist while we are on the conscious path of enlightenment and transformation.  An exceptionally valuable self-care habit to develop is to continually observe yourself – without judgement. Take a step back from yourself in your mind and watch out for those sneaky instances when you lie out of politeness and/or to preserve your own self-esteem, better known as ego. Then think about the long-term effects and not about how the lie will protect you or someone else. Remember, lying causes anxiety, depression and other physical illnesses – and exhaustion from a constant nagging fear of a lie being discovered. Maybe we cannot always tell the truth, but the more we do the healthier we become.

courage-853466_1920~ The Impolite Side of Polite ~

A final thought regarding “lying to be polite”.  A very wise individual once shared a profound thought with me. They said when one chooses to lie to make someone feel better, a huge disservice has been done to the individual – a potentially powerful moment of truthful reflection has basically been taken from them. The gift of truth was snatched away. That gift of truth could have produced an opportunity for the individual to reflect, grow and transform more fully into the authentically conscious person they can become. Instead, they will believe your lie, live within your lie, and the lie will live on. You actually hurt them.

Have the courage to speak the truth as much as possible. Allow yourself to be vulnerable by being honest. Brene Brown shares the following in her book, “Daring Greatly”, which sums everything up quite nicely.

“Daring greatly is not about winning or losing.  It’s about courage . . . I can honestly say that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I’m on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen, honestly.”

Hurt me with the truth; don’t comfort me with a lie.


Simultaneously Posted on http://theevolutionarymind.com


Staring into Space

What do you see when you begin to stare at something and are unknowingly pulled into a realm full of thick stillness and mindlessness? Does it look back at you? Does it scare you?  Talk to you?  Heal you?

Maybe this happens as you stare into space, or casually glance at the face of a stranger, a loved one, a hated one, or even when you create an elaborate dream that you know may never come true.  What do you see?


You can see everything from that nowhere place.  All potentials and possibilities.

You see the Riddles of Life as they dance across your vision.

That’s my way of “looking” at life – I take delight in every glimpse, every sigh, every breath.  Maybe, just maybe, I’m really staring into the space of me.

Silent Words

I long for a language of love and simple truths; where wrong words don’t exist.

I long to begin a silent conversation with effortless words that find the person they were spoken for; on the tail of swirling breezes from a windless dream.

I long for a time when words can be shared universally without hesitation and fear of judgement; honoring all beliefs.

I long for a time to pause at the edge of a midnight forest; breathing in the soft sweetness of the night.

I long for wildness wherever it lives – to free my longings and dance with abandonment.