Living life by responding to everything on auto-pilot rather than from the heart.
Making rushed assumptions based on damage caused by unreleased emotional life stories.
Outcome of 1 & 2:
Asphyxiation of mind, body & soul.
THE FIX: 1. Don’t listen to the bully brain, listen to your heart.
2. Let the memories and stories go.
3. Advocate for yourself – don’t be a victim.
4. Fill your mind with love, curiosity and wonder.
5. Be your own kind of beautiful.
“Silencing Echoes”, which was the original name of my personal healing memoir, takes a look at the various ways we attempt to silence our painful echoes from the past, frequent with damaging effects on our health and spirituality as well as those around us. This non-fiction book is based on the parts of my life that not only hurt me the most, but thankfully taught me the most. The primary focus is not on the horror of each abuse, but the healing and choices I somehow made to not be a victim in spite of my history. “My echoes” of abuse were very difficult to silence. But I did exterminate it. Sadly, my story is probably not even close to the worst stories of abuse that exist in our world.
During the actual writing of this book, I have discovered the details of each abusive event no longer needs to be shared in detail – I simply needed to share the healing. This book is going to touch everyone’s heart – whether they be a victim, a perpetrator, a relative or simply a human being.
When will this book arrive? 2017 – early 2018. Maybe sooner.
“Abuse was part of my life and keeping that “secret” separated me from others. My safe zone was nature, so as much as possible I kept my face toward the sky with the wind blowing through my hair, my mind and my heart. Love was only given to animals because they comforted me unconditionally.
What I discovered with the passing of time was revealing the abuse to others wasn’t the main contributing factor of my healing. The most powerful fuel was understanding a complicated yet simple, often forgotten “truth”.”
“I was and am stronger than the abuse“.
Excerpt from “My Radiant Hell – Healing Tidbits from a Wounded Soul.” Coming Soon
Dedicated to My Sisters – Vicki & Sandy (Originally Written January 2015)
“A Letter to Myself”
My thoughts are wandering back in time today – it’s been almost 10 years since both our sisters left their earthly physical form. As I write to you Dearest Debbie, I notice with a sense of absolute wonder and awe how different “remembering” within the actual moments of the past is compared to “re-remembering ” those moments. Every experience in the “now” contains the beauty and heartbreak of a time when we could still physically touch and tightly hug our two sisters.
Oh lovely self, our spirituality and faith were certainly tested – our sanity probably more than those two put together ten-fold. In spite of our losses, we stand stronger than ever because we now know we never truly lost them at all.
Stepping back in time, I’m remembering our sister Vicki’s last days. You and I watched her pain and admired the unlimited amount of love and compassion she expressed to those she knew would be left behind. Her daughters, her grandchildren, her sisters and friends. You remember how we felt as we watched her slowly slip away – the devastation of loss was blended together with the joy of having her finally released from pain. It was like a cyclone of the good, the bad, and the ugly. But looking back, I also see the beauty of her illness; the true gifts we were given. We were with her when she slipped way. A gift we couldn’t see at the time, but none the less that gift of being with her now lives in our heart and soul. A sacred lesson she shared with us was to never become a victim of her death or life’s experiences. She taught us that letting her go would set her spirit free and that we would always have her within our memories and dreams.
It was tough working through the grief wasn’t it? Little did we know another horror was lurking in the dark. About one month after Vicki’s passing, our second sister Sandy was diagnosed with terminal cancer. During those next few months, we watched as she also fought so hard to live and win a battle that could not be won. Sister Sandy, again, was a shining example of keeping a smile on her face to strengthen her husband, daughters, son, sister and grandchild for what they would soon face. I so clearly remember her being silly, goofy, funny and sassy until those very last moments when she quietly passed away. Our last sister slipped away in a cradle of immense love – she left her love behind for each of us.
This time the best lesson was “It’s good to be numb”. We were protected for a bit. The pain was so intense, and feeling numb helped us feel cozy and safe in our fuzzy blanket of intentionally blocked feelings. Gifts can sometimes be dualistic. Without dualism, we would never know the difference between darkness and light. Between horror and happy. “Numb” was great compared to feel anything at that time. We needed safe – we needed time to build energy to even begin the grief process. We put ourselves away and hid in solitude to heal. That was perfectly fine – it was our way.
I’m thankful for all life’s teachings but damn, another crisis struck when we consciously became aware that we were now orphans. Both parents gone. Both siblings gone. “We” had become an “I”. To heal we had to walk through hell, feel the intense fiery heat of rage, and move beyond it all to come out the other side as a whole human being that no longer needed to be numb. The gift: we learned we are not alone – we never actually are.
We rock Dearest Debbie. We learned to stop living as a victim, we stood up and faced adversity, we dug deep and found the beauty and began to become our authentic self. We took the intense loneliness and re-purposed that power to help us bravely begin walking down the healing path – on wobbly feet. We began to grow and slowly push through the numbness so we could feel; maybe for the first time? Our sisters spirits became the wind, the water, the air, the wood and fire that helped us bloom into the amazing person we now are.
We stand tall and proud today. We help teach others how to break away from the vicious life-strangling bonds of “being” a victim, how to find balance in health and well-being. We teach hope. We are blessed every single day. Why? Because we know each person we encounter are in reality both our students and teachers – which means Dear Debbie, we are always a student and a teacher as well.
I love you “self”. Maybe knowing that is the biggest lesson learned through these past years. Authentic love and acceptance of self does in fact free the soul. Thankfully, the beautiful spirits of our sisters Vicki and Sandy continue to soar with us and help guide us as we continue along our own path to reach beyond the stars – the gateway to all wonders. My love continues to be with you Vicki and Sandy – and with you as well Dearest Debbie.
A taste of my new book about silencing the echoes from the past. I welcome all comments. Debbie
“The above story is a preamble to the words contained within the chapters that follow. A storytelling of sorts, that shows that even a helpless nine-month old child has intense feelings and memories of things adults assume they could never remember. Some memories may not be conscious at such a young age, but each memory nonetheless remains buried in the subconscious mind. I spent a good part of my life running away from my childhood memories and for the last 12 years I’ve taken those memories out, re-lived most of them, learned from them, and ultimately released each one of them as hundreds of colorful balloons that slowly meandered and undulated higher and higher into the sky to slowly disappear. My personal story is honest, yet raw in parts, and sadly it is shared by millions of people on this planet.
I share my story in an effort to educate all who read this book that healing is possible for those who honestly look for it. It takes courage, patience, perseverance and numerous boxes of tissues to move through the maze of memories and claim the prize of releasing our personal stories to become whole and balanced.
Thankfully, nothing is insurmountable – not even ourselves.”
Prepare to be inspired and discover how YOU can use natural healing methods to heal yourself from past trauma and drama!
This inspiring interview with Dr.Debbie Engelmann, a doctor of Naturopathy and Herbal Healing, reminds us of our divine ability to heal naturally and recover from trauma and abuse with grace. Dr Deb’s story, Falling into the Garden of Healing, appears alongside Dr. Andrea’s story with 40+ other amazing authors in the new book“Heart to Heart: The Path to Wellness.”
Having experienced abuse and devastating loss in many forms, Debbie never lost hope, nor her innocence. Her love of Nature and all things natural allowed her to uncover her healing gifts and share them with her patients and now the world!
In the book Debbie talks about the death of her two sisters, Vicki and Sandy, who died months apart. Her journey through the darkest hours of her life eventually led to healing of mind, body and spirit. She shares how she pulled herself out of the depression and devastation and found her true self.
Listen in as Deb discusses how abuse in her childhood and the tragic loss of both of her sisters revealed how her hidden emotions led to her sickness yet ultimately awakened her ability to heal — naturally. Deb’s story will speak to your heart and inspire you to go beyond your pain to find your own garden of healing through alternative remedies and techniques.
Listen LIVE at 10am EST – 3pm Paris Time – 2pm Iceland/London/Ghana Time
Or listen on-demand online or on the go!
Dr. Andrea brings you an inspiring interview with Dr. Debbie Engelmann, a Doctor of Natural Health and Traditional Naturopathy, as well as an Herbal Practitioner, reminds us of our divine ability to heal naturally and recover from trauma and abuse with grace.
Having experienced abuse and devastating loss in many forms, Debbie never lost hope, nor her innocence. Her love of Nature and all things natural allowed her to uncover her healing gifts and share them with her patientsand now the world!
In the book, Debbie talks about the death of her two sisters, Vicki and Sandy, who died months apart. Her journey through the darkest hours of her life eventually led to healing of mind, body and spirit. She shares how she pulled herself out of the depression and devastation and found her true self. Listen in as Deb discusses how abuse in her childhood and the tragic loss of both of her sisters revealed how her hidden emotions led to her sickness, yet ultimately awakened her ability to heal – – naturally. Deb’s story will speak to your heart and inspire you to go beyond your pain to find your own Garden of Healing through alternative remedies and therapies.
Prepare to be inspired and discover how YOU can use natural healing methods to heal yourself from past trauma and drama!
ABOUT THE SHOW
This podcast, hosted by online life coach, motivational speaker and bestselling author, Dr. Andrea Pennington, offers insight, inspiration and practical guidance on how to return to our rightful place of vitality, power and purpose!
In Dr. Andrea’s recentTEDx talk and her chapter in the Path to Wellness book she shares how she personally overcame depression and anxiety to live more confidently as her ‘authentic self’ with alternative healing remedies, positive psychology techniques, meditation and qigong. Now she brings natural healing and longevity wisdom from around the world in this interview series.
This non-fiction book is based on the parts of my life that not only hurt me the most, but taught me the most. There are things in this book that no person on this earth should ever experience, but the primary focus is not on the horror. The focus is on the choice I somehow made to not be a victim in spite of my history. My echoes of abuse were very difficult to silence. But I did. And, sadly, my story is not the worst story out there.
Bottom line on this book is I’m reaching out and trying to touch everyone’s heart – whether they are the victim or the perpetrator. There is help here mostly for the victims because they didn’t ask for it, but there is also help for the ones who use violence in its various forms to control others. We tend to forget they probably didn’t ask to learn from their own perpetrators.
When will this book arrive? End of 2015. Maybe sooner. Check back for updates.